Raise who they are not who you thought they'd be.
I feel if we raised boys and girls the same way, I feel the enormous blow if one of them felt Transgender or gay or ya know, themselves...would really be softened....and probably happen earlier. Because what that means for me is conscious parenting, a lack of imagining the children you thought you would have and actually raising the children that are in front of you. Raising children from a place a love instead of fear. "Okay, honey, does your name still resonate with you? ...cool, how about pronouns? No, we'll work on that, love."
The old ways of parenting are not working. Our children are different than we were, they require and are demanding (Ezekiel :P) to shatter all the molds. The future, the answers are in tomorrow and most importantly, in the now. In raising kids moment per moment as THEY are and not how we want them to be will allow you both freedom to find yourself. And isn't lovely to think about not having to rediscover who the hell you are after the kids grow up? Because when both of your needs are equally as important you are slowly working together to discover that the entire journey.