Beyond Trauma

A lot of people still sitting in pain think it's absolutely impossible that I got up from mine.

They will lash out at new ideas, they will lash out at what could change their stories and identities.

People with childhood trauma and abuse cannot imagine being free from those wounds, we have been told it's a burden we have to carry forever, that not being properly loved by our parents or loved at all hurts so deeply that nothing could ever repair it.

This belief system is the equivalent of throwing an entire person in the trash and leaving them there to rot.

I am here saying that not being loved by my mother doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt ever, because I painstakingly sorted through that wound. I did not have a magic wand that made it all go away, I didn't even have an example of how to do this, how to travel through my pain for the last time. How to open that door of trauma I had held closed so desperately. I did it anyway.

It took a long time, I cried a lot. It was hard, impossible even, some days. But I chose to deeply heal. My childhood trauma does not define who I am, I get to define who I am. I am my own mother, I supply what she did not, I parent myself and my children, we are all seen heard and understood, because through my healing, I have navigated how. My inner child is no longer screaming, she sleeps, she laughs, she plays. She is present and joyful. So I can focus deeply on my own children's needs.

I could choose to see all the ways my mom failed me, abandoned me or I could see how

The person my mom was, was not someone I would even enjoy knowing or hanging out with or allowing near my children. Let alone trying to seek approval from or make proud. This belief is where my quote "I don't take advice from miserable people." Comes from, I don't care if you birthed me, if you are spreading your misery and pain onto people, I don't need your opinion.

I deeply began caring for myself, getting to know myself, I am the best mom to myself than anyone ever could be, my mom didn't abandon me, she was the adoptive caretaker until my own self mother could awaken.

What happened to you was horrific, I know how that feels, but maybe just maybe, it's time to explore that wound and grow past it.

Sincerely,

The empowered victim of childhood trauma who knows, experiences and lives different.